November 2005

Is the Uniting Church a safe place?

Safety in meetings is a vital issue and goal for all meetings in the Uniting Church. I encourage all councils, committees, boards, working groups, task groups and open forums under the banner of the Uniting Church to adopt safe place meeting rules.

Why?

My pastoral concern for the church is the assurance to all our members and visitors that we value the right of each participating person to be heard, irrespective of their view, with a high level of Christian grace and maturity. We also value each person’s right not to be violated by someone else’s view which might threaten their feeling of safety in the meeting.

This was an issue for our recent New South Wales Synod annual meeting which necessitated me making a statement on the fourth and last day as my pastoral response to both written and verbal complaints from a wide variety of Synod members.

On the first day, the Synod adopted safe place rules, based on the “Respectful Communication Guidelines” of the Rev. Dr Eric Law and including the Assembly’s “Policy on the Prevention of Vilification and Harassment within the Uniting Church in Australia”.

Dr Law’s guidelines were shared with Synod leaders last May. Eric is the Minister for Congregation Development of the Diocese of Los Angeles. His guidelines used the word respect as an acronym to present helpful safe place rules:

R Take Responsibility for what you say and feel without blaming others.
E Use Empathetic listening.
S Be Sensitive to differences in communication styles.
P Ponder what you hear and feel before you speak.
E Examine your own assumptions and perceptions.
C Keep Confidentiality.
T Trust ambiguity because we are not here to debate who is right or wrong.

After some debate, the Synod agreed to vary the last guideline by eliminating the words after Trust in order to allow its business to proceed.

The violations of safety and other complaints arose from a number of concerns about individual comments in general debate as well as mutterings from individuals in table groups as others addressed the Synod. Examples are mentioned here to help the church understand some unacceptable practices:

• “What would she know, she’s only a leader of tomorrow?” about a youth leader member of Synod. Youth leaders are leaders of today’s church too and we must both accept and respect that.

• The stridency of expressed points of view of what individual speakers stated as right and wrong behaviour upset others who had a different perspective. Many people felt violated by that stridency because of its insensitivity. We need to show Christian grace and be a model of behaviour that the community can see as one all should follow. Intolerance is a growing worldwide trend which is a factor threatening world peace.

• Groups of people hugging and congratulating each other or an individual for winning a point in a debate or getting a proposal adopted. The church is not about winners and losers but discerning what God says to us through its councils.

I was certainly convinced that the Holy Spirit guided the Synod through its three sessions debating the Moderator’s proposed vision for the Synod. That it was passed by consensus after much debate, grace, contribution, prayer and time shows me how easy it is to make decisions in a safe place environment. I am now empowered by God and the Synod to promote the vision throughout the life of the Synod.

If we are to be a 21st century church, we will need to change many present ways of being church in a world where Christianity is arguably not seen as a spiritual option.

We will need to be courageous, inclusive and generous as we move with god, transforming communities. That is the vision seen by the Synod for all its councils, committees, boards and other decision-making structures as well as for all its activities.

Being a safe place will also help transform people as they search for meaning in life (spirituality).

Come for the journey of a lifetime.