It can come as a great flood, or as gradual as a season; it can be as gentle as a sunrise or as violent as a thunderclap. For Christ does not come in the same way twice, as anyone who has discovered Him later in life will tell you.
Personally, it came as an enormous surprise. It was sudden, but also very gentle and incredibly persistent. The Lay Minister at my local church described it as Christ knocking on the door… and in the end, it was impossible not to open it.
I find it hard to imagine this person before he was a Christian, so suffused is he now with God’s grace and wisdom, though I’m sure he would baulk at hearing me say such a thing. Yet his grasp of faith is deeply inspiring, and when he leads morning prayer his scholarly approach to theology is both insightful and educational. However, this is someone only baptised in his forties, and it is hard to imagine how differently he may have approached life when still in the spiritual wilderness.
The Church of England approaches baptism as a significant sacrament that marks the initiation of individuals into the Christian faith. Baptism is seen as a means of grace, where the individual is welcomed into the church community, typically with infants, to welcome them into the Christian community as well as invoking God’s blessing and spiritual protection over the child as they grow.
Yet this is only ever seen as the first step on the road to Christianity, with confirmation playing a significant role in the Christian faith as it is a sacrament or rite through which individuals affirm and deepen a commitment to their faith.
Of course, some Christian denominations do not believe in infant Christenings at all. Baptists believe in believer’s baptism, which means it is reserved for individuals who are old enough to understand the significance of their faith and make a personal decision to follow Christ.
Furthermore, baptism is not a means of salvation but as a public testimony of one’s faith and a symbolic act representing the believer’s identification with the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. For this reason, Baptists typically uphold the practice of full immersion baptism which suggests not just being cleansed of one’s past, but a full rebirth totally apart from it.
With all this in mind, the notion of being ‘born again’ later in life is not anomalous to the Christian faith, but integral to it. For, if it is to be significant and genuine, it must be an individual and conscious choice. Perhaps that is why, then, it can feel all the more profound when experienced by those not raised in the faith, because it is unexpected and therefore set apart from all the more pedestrian areas of day-to-day life.
“I am not afraid…” is the phrase I myself used when asking to be baptised, after months of deliberation. What was I afraid of? Perhaps that I was doing it for the wrong reasons, in bad faith.
Perhaps that I was a fraud who had led a life so far from virtue that I could never possibly expect to be fully welcomed into the fold.
Perhaps that maybe I was expecting some great salvation from my problems and would consequently be disappointed.
In the end, my expectations were greatly surpassed and even now I cannot articulate the immense peace and joy which seemed to follow me in the weeks after my baptism. It is like a great drug, an all-encompassing warmth and comfort that imbued the ordinary world with a gentle glow.
Like all good drugs, that sensation wears off a little, but once experienced, it is never far away, and if you need it, you can call it back at any time. It comes upon one in the most unexpected instances and is a great reminder of the change that has occurred and a sense that though there will be suffering henceforth, as there was suffering before, it is now less painful and holds less power, like a viper that has had its venom removed.
Another joy of finding the Christian faith later in life, is all that there is to discover. Think for example, when you recommend a beloved book or film series to someone how has yet to see it – “you haven’t watched the original Star Wars movies? Wow, I envy you.” And so it is with the Bible…
From realising that Genesis contains elements of prose, to discovering there are many ways to tell a story far from the scientific style we have come to understand. From feeling deeply moved by the romantic notion of God placing Moses in a rock, so that he may witness Him as He walks past, to the further idea that for many of us faith occurs in hindsight.
Finally, there is Jesus himself, whose lessons of forgiveness, love and peace can bring comfort to the bleakest of human experiences.
This brings us to why so many of us seek faith later in life and how it can bring about profound changes in an individual’s perspective, values and lifestyle. Many people report feelings of peace, purpose and a sense of belonging within a faith community. This spiritual awakening often leads to a desire for deeper understanding of the Bible, engagement in prayer, and participation in church activities.
Additionally, individuals may seek to share their experiences and newfound faith with others, positively impacting their relationships and community.
It is also common for people to seek Jesus after experiencing a traumatic event. Many individuals turn to faith during times of crisis as a source of comfort, hope and healing. Traumatic experiences can lead to existential questions and a desire for meaning, prompting individuals to explore spirituality and strengthening their relationship with God.
Ultimately, whatever the reason, whatever brings Him to your door, remember that finding God is only ever the beginning, and the most sacred part is the ongoing journey, one that will last a lifetime… and beyond.
Violet Wilder
